state of thinking

Well, I stepped back once again because my construction is getting a bit unwieldy and needs some organization. There are several questions about how to proceed because the amount of speculation has considerably exceeded the available data to support or suggest it. I need experimental data or analysis that will either strengthen or disprove these concepts–if I keep building, I get lots of interesting ideas, but get further and further from conclusions that either feed back on themselves to help prove the base concepts, or from conclusions that are actually usable to me in deciding what to do in my finite lifetime existence.

The foundation for most of this thinking comes from one of two paths–broad philosophical thinking about life, in particular the realization that life forms from particular arrangements of already existing particles (and similarly, death actually is not the destruction of anything, but the disconnection of these arrangements), thus clearly showing that life and consciousness are *ideas* that can form from any prolific array of entities with an appropriate set of interactive rules. Thus, the meaning of the concept of existence is much more tenuous than our senses would lead us to believe. The second path of thinking is the reductionist attempt to get more data about the underlying structure at the particle level. This effort is predominantly centered on permutations of the twisted ring field model of photons, electrons, and positrons (other particles have not been studied yet). By gaining a geometrically better model than the current zoo specified by the Standard Model, I hope to be able to draw conclusions, or at least better direct, the first path that is vastly larger in its potential impact to how I live my life.

At this point, the philosophical path has me convinced that God does not exist in a way that is portrayed in any religion that I know of–a conscious being with intelligence that can and/or does interact with our existence. I do not see God as having an intellect like ours (possible, but I think that will turn out to be an anthropomorphic view of God) but instead a more generalized “presence” for lack of a better word. Tragedies like the Holocaust, 911, and other unnecessary losses of innocent life suggest that God does not intervene–indeed, I have at last concluded that Jesus’s death at the cross was genuinely profound, but not for the reasons described in Christianity. Jesus laid down a “fleece”, a call for God’s intervention, that is the extreme limit of what is humanly possible. Jesus’s cry “Why have you forsaken me?” at the point of death is the most profound expression that God does not intervene in a way that would show his existence or that would establish an absolute good. Yes, there is an argument that the activity that followed is a description of Jesus’s resurrection, but my attentive reading of the Bible seems fairly suggestive that these were all the result of wishful thinking and self-fulfilling prophesy by the attending witnesses. Obviously, I could be wildly wrong, and condemned for making these conclusions–but I seek truth as best as I can establish it, and that is what I have concluded at this point with what I have learned and observed.

So–with that stone in the foundation of the meaning of existence, where does that leave this thinking path? First, I think it strengthens the idea and importance of the deep level of freedom we enjoy in this existence. There is no absolute good or meaning to life, so we are free to find our own meaning to our existence. The drawback, of course, is that then there is no answer to “what is the meaning of life”, we are free to find our own meaning, there isn’t a default one. The problem with this is that an empty, unthinking lifestyle is still just as empty and thus can be cause for pointless action and despair. However, by resisting this despair and deeply understanding this freedom, I then gain a purpose to life! I understand that meaning to my life will come when I define for myself what meaning to life makes sense for me. For now, meaning definitely is formed when I try to comprehend the basic concepts of the formation of existence and seeking answers to the particular implementation of ideas we find ourselves in. Secondly, unfortunately, my hunch that life has a finite timespan is bolstered with this conclusion about God. It seems unlikely that there is any afterlife of any sort that means anything. When I die, I will experience something akin to sleep, and my waking up will be like a butterfly (or something) from a caterpillar–with nothing preserved along the way. All the atoms that made me will be shuffled around, mixed with others in the vicinity, and maybe another existence will form. This means a couple of things–I will have no perception of a time interval after death to a re-awakening–and, I will have no awareness of the idea of me in a previous existence. They will be the same atoms, but those atoms that stored my memories and experiences will be completely reshuffled in such a way that the memories are totally lost.

So–from the point of view of my existence, there is no afterlife or reincarnation. I must face the utter reality that I have a finite life. I only have so much time to draw conclusions or do whatever analysis before no more will be done. This does point out a bad and a good path to what we do with our life: If we live in such a way as to have what we (or religion) thinks is a better afterlife for our own selves (such as going to heaven or paradise), we are engaging in selfish, wishful, and wasteful activities. On the other hand, making this world a better place (however we choose to define that) is a valid and worthwhile outcome of our study for meaning and purpose–because our re-arranged atoms could easily form another life in this world, and when all, or even most, of the lives in the world recognize that, there is a cumulative improvement to what it means to live. Happiness comes in short term, long term, and sacrificial forms. Once an intelligent life understands that sacrificing some for future arrangements of his atoms, he has gained a purpose and meaning to life that has greater significance than any accomplishment he does in this life (I think).

OK, now just a bit on the second path: more data is needed. I’m starting to put together an idea for a Mathematica project that will form an analytical solution (Schroedinger solution) of the Twist Ring. Here’s what’s currently in progress here, the goal is to find a way, experimentally or analytically, to prove or disprove the ring model of the electron. There are many aspects to consider:

a: the unitary wave model provides a clear-cut method for describing quantum entanglement.
b: the twist model provides a clear-cut geometrical way to describe quantized energy states for photons and electron/positrons, and geometrically explains the anti-particle existence of electrons versus no antiparticle existence of photons.
c: the ring model explains why electrons seem to have no diameter (loop distortion at relativistic speeds)
d: explanation of charge attraction/repulsion of single particle pairs. Attempts to determine the adjustments to the model necessary for analyzing multiple particle combinations.
e: no current model explains the specific mass of electrons (why there are no particles with mass slightly heavier or lighter–the quantized energy of rings does not derive from the quantization of energy states since this quantization permits any possible energy of a photon as long as frequency is an independent variable. In the ring theory, any mass/frequency combination can exist by varying the radius of the ring. Currently I am proposing that the twist model and the unitary wave model (with its noncausal phase property) may yield a quantized electron mass.
f: Possibly related to item e, the ring model should, but does not yet, derive the measured speed of light.

Agemoz

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